“This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” ― Alan W. Watts

In a previous blog post, I had mentioned that I biked out to a ceremony at one of my student’s houses a month early. Now, a month later, I finally made it out to that ceremony on the correct day! I’d never been to this house before, or met the family, but as I pulled up on my bike, a woman rushed over to me and introduced herself as my student’s aunt. She led me over to a small tent where I sat with some folks and watched the monks chant. After the chanting, the monks ate lunch (Did you know that everyday monks can’t eat from about 12:00 noon until 6:00am the next morning?), then us lay people ate when they were finished. I feasted with a group of friendly grandfathers, as my students showed up. The four girls from this village are absolutely beautiful and hard working, biking about two hours per day and six days per week to study at the middle school.

My students from Ta’Kam Village

They took me around their housing complex and introduced me to their families, who were very friendly and outgoing. We all jumped on our biked and rode about 200 meters down the road to one of the girl’s houses to meet the last family. We picked some small sour fruits and sat around chatting and eating them with spicy salt. These four girls are some of my best students and I’ve always adored them, but seeing them at their homes and with their families was a delight, they were even more goofy and relaxed!

Picking the sour fruits

One of the girls found a bat who was sleeping in a curled up banana tree leaf, she pulled it out and played with it for awhile. Her brother then poked a small hole in it’s wing and tied a string to it. The bat would fly around in circles on it’s leash and he chased after the small children with it. I felt bad for the bat, but it was a very interesting sight. I felt like I was going to cry saying goodbye to these girls for the day who had just showed me their world.

Bat!

A woman in one of the further villages invited me out to an evening ceremony at her house. Three women from my village were also invited so we met at the road intersection and all biked out about 30 minutes together. We parked our bikes in a field, gave our offerings of money and rice, and were seated at a table for all-you-can-eat rice porridge. Since it was getting dark and we lived far away, we didn’t stay for long. I love riding those dusty roads with friends under the setting sun, almost like an adventure race of sorts!

Riding out to a ceremony with fellow villagers

A few weeks after the planting of our home gardens, I walked around the village to check in on them and see if there were any problems I could help with. They all looked pretty good, everyone of the gardens is growing well and the villagers are working hard to keep them beautiful!

I was especially excited when I arrived at Mrs. Mol’s house. When we initially asked her to be a part of the project, my hunch was that she didn’t seem very motivated and I thought she was just joining for the sake of joining and would only do the minimum. Boy oh boy was I wrong! I walked in or her mixing up a huge pile of leafy compost with her bare hands and her son helping. Her garden was beautifully manicured, weeded, fertilized, and had some of the best growth of all the gardens!

Mrs. Mol composting!

Finishing out my rounds on the home gardens, I met with my next door neighbor at their small farm. Usually, I always work with his wife who is one of my village health volunteers, but she was not present this day. We sat in the dirt of his garden and he completely opened up to me talking about America, Cambodia, time zones, gardens, how he thinks dark skin is more beautiful than white (white skin is usually considered more beautiful in this culture), and his experience during the Khmer Rouge period. He mentioned that in the Khmer Rouge times people just built small temporary wooden shelters, so when the Khmer Rouge came to burn their houses down, they could just grab the cows and run and not have to worry about any possessions left behind.

My cousin, K’neat, mentioned to me that she might drop out of school next year, when she would be in the 7th grade, because her family doesn’t have enough money for her to continue studying and needs her to work. I inquired how the younger of her two brothers is still able to study in the 8th grade. She said that the oldest brother, who works as a dirt digger, gives the younger brother money to continue private classes. These are the daily conversations that I think many Peace Corps Volunteers experience which make our hearts burst and make the work that we are doing difficult to express to others.

Count ’em: six people, one bike!

Ga’bow and some of the little cousins are too small to reach into the water cisterns when it is time for them to shower. So, a few times a day, I get the honor of scooping water out and pouring it out on them while they rinse off. I especially enjoyed one time when I was watering the vegetable garden and they wanted to shower. I filled up the water cans and poured it over Ga’bow and Gahn while they laughed and danced around!

During lunch, a kid came over, walked into my mom’s shop and simply screamed, “SOUP…ONE BOWL!” and sat down. This seems to be how things are ordered and bought, but I imagined him visiting a restaurant in the USA, walking in and screaming this to order and the reaction he would get!

Jeff and I posing for prom

Soken, the middle school principle, and I worked at the school garden for a few afternoons to teach the kids how to string up the trellis nets for the vine-type plants. The students cut bamboo from around their houses and brought it to school, then we supplied them with string and netting. Things started slow until we had a few examples up for the students to model off of, then they flew up and are looking great!

Soken helping string up a trellis net

My sister has been practicing making some new foods and I get to be the guinea pig and test them out. She’s an awesome cook, so I luck out getting to eat all these special dishes she prepares such as roasted duck and lok-lak beef!

One of my older students invited me out to her cousin’s wedding in a different village. Not knowing anyone else who was attending, I waited the appropriate time to be fashionably late, then biked over alone. I was still too early, so I waited a bit for people to show up. One of my male neighbors showed up shortly afterward, took me by the arm and we entered together. It turns out he was already pretty drunk, and as the food/drink service for the wedding began he continued to drink a lot and pressure the other guests into drinking. Eventually he couldn’t even use his chopsticks and would miss his cup when he was pouring more beer and just pour it all over the table. He would put his arm around me and yell to all the other guests at the table that I was an American, he must have said the same thing some 30 times. It was pretty embarrassing because I felt that his actions were reflecting on me and I felt responsible to keep him under control for the sake of the other guests. Finally, we finished eating and I left before him. An 80 year old grandfather from my village was also in attendance at the wedding, so we rode home together and had pleasant conversation.

TaSnae Wedding

Following a wonderful grandfather home from the wedding.

Some of the cousins and I wanted to go out to the rice fields and pick some wild fruits. The problem was that the small children wanted to go, but the parents wouldn’t let them, so they were crying. Having enough of the situation, I broke off into a sprint to the rice fields and figured that anyone fast enough to keep up was big enough to join the excursion. To my delight, two of my favorite dogs followed me at the heel and joined us through the thick vegetation searching for the fruits. For the puppy, it was her first time ever being away from the house and was so curious to explore, yet always kept in sight of us and checked in and responded to my whistle (I trained her to the Darcy whistle: one long, three short). On the way back to the house we jumped into a pond for a minute to cool off and my puppy got her first swim, she was a natural! Oh yeah, we didn’t get any fruits, they weren’t ripe yet!

Picking goi fruits, check out my puppy on her first adventure at the bottom!

Played volleyball with some of the teenagers and we had a pretty competitive game. I love the days when I have the energy to do something physical, quite frequently I am always drained from being “ON” 100% of the time at site.

Ngaa didn’t go to school one day because his pants were dirty and he hadn’t done laundry and didn’t have another pair of school pants. I didn’t let him watch a movie that night because I have to stand firm on the rule of ‘no school, no movie,.’ plus he could use a little discipline. While he was sitting nearby listening to the movie instead, he asked, “What if you only had one pair of pants and they were dirty, what would you do? Would you go to school in front of your friends?” I pretended to ignore him, but it was a reminder that while I live here for two years, I will never truly know what those daily struggles for basic needs is like.

Aunt Lewin harvested the corn from their garden. All the extended host family members got to feast on it for days as she cooked it and shared it with them. Plus, she was able to sell off all the surplus for about $25.00. It always tastes more delicious when you do it yourself!

Some of Aunt Lewin’s corn.

A while back I gave the kids a kit to make paper airplanes which came with a fat stack of paper. One day we began making origami instead and they really took the the small paper balloons that I taught them. I made a paper crane and tied it to the roof of my mom’s little restaurant. She asked me to make even more to decorate for Khmer New Year!

As some of you may have seen in the news, The First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama, came out to Cambodia to meet with our group of Peace Corps Volunteers to help kick off her “Let Girls Learn” initiative for keeping young women in school. The principle of the middle school I work with joined me as my partner for the event. On a Friday, we all met in Siem Reap and had a meeting for a couple of hours about where we would walk, sit, check in through security, how to act, etc. No details were ignored.

The principle of the middle school and I before meeting The First Lady.

The following day we checked in through security and presented our passports. The shirt I was wearing had the logo of a local NGO on it, so I was told that I need to change shirts so that it would not be in pictures. Luckily, John Williams, a Peace Corps legend, was on hand and gave me one of his shirts to wear…a shirt that his daughter, a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer, had given him…plus he let me keep it, what an honor, thanks John! We had a few hours before The First Lady was to arrive, so our Country Director lead us through group discussions about gender equality in Cambodian schools and the barriers that young women face in education. During those discussions, a small ceiling tile fell near the door that The First Lady would be walking through a little while later. As things got closer to the arrival, we had a few speeches from our Country Director, the USAID director, and our Peace Corps Regional Director…all the while, the hotel staff was on a ladder next to them manually checking the ceiling tiles to make sure nothing would fall during the main event!

Hotel staff checking the ceiling tiles during speeches

When the time came, one of our PCV’s did a wonderful job of introducing Carrie Hessler-Radelet, The Director of Peace Corps. Carrie then gave a moving speech about the work we are doing, then introduced The First Lady.

Carrie Hessler-Radelet

I’ve seen Michelle Obama in pictures and on TV, but the beauty she radiated as she walked up to that stage made my jaw hit the floor. Her speech can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6YV0ujJghg After her speech, we were instructed to stay at our seats, and that maybe she would shake a few hands before her exit. Instead, she called forward everyone in the room and hugged each and every one of us individually. During these hugs, I heard some of my favorite advice from her, “Don’t get tired.” I’ve kept that in mind ever since that day, it’s often easy to become jaded and in a rut and daily routines, we need to make the extra effort to remain passionate and put forth our very best every single day!

The First Lady of the United States of America, Michelle Obama

We all met outside for a group picture.

I was also able to grab a few pictures with my doppelganger, Ryan, a member of the White House staff which organized all the details prior to the arrival of The First Lady.

Ryan, my doppleganger

Then there was an all-you-can-eat hotel buffet…Yes please!!! The following day, we had a group session with The Director of Peace Corps, Carrie Hessler-Radelet. Some of the PCV’s gave a presentation about the work we are doing, we were able to ask questions, and she told us a few incredible stories about previous volunteers and the impacts they have made. It’s so comforting how down-to-earth the Peace Corps Staff is world wide, even up to the highest director, we were able to talk one-on-one just like normal people and give hugs goodbye. They were all Peace Corps Volunteers once, and that is an instant connection that I look forward to sharing for the rest of my life!

80+ media staff setting up in the back of the room

I following day, I had the distinct pleasure of having Carrie Hessler-Radelet out to my house for a site visit! I showed her around my house, we checked out one of my village gardens, then went down to the school to meet the principle and observe the school garden. It was very enjoyable to share my experience with such an inspiring woman, and reassuring that even the highest member of our program is still passionate about being out there on the ground and in the heat and supporting our Peace Corps on every level!

Peace Corps heads of staff visiting my site.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive” – Howard Thurman

One of my neighbors who sells pork by moto around the commune came to my house in the afternoon. He told me that one of my village health volunteers in the furthest village told him to invite me to a ceremony she was hosting in a few more days. The ceremony was a celebration for a grandmother who had died the year before. I mostly just sat on a tarp and made conversation with people and watched them make all the decorations and preparations. It’s incredible how no one delegates, yet everyone seems to have a job and everything always gets done!

Funeral pyre

The Country Director of Peace Corps Cambodia, and the Regional Director for some 17 countries came out to visit my site! It was a nice visit spent at my house, a trip to the health center, the middle school, and we checked out some of the gardens from my project. Our country director even bought some produce from one of the gardens! Thanks Alissa!!!

In one of my project gardens with the regional director.

One weekend in Siem Reap, a few PCVs and I were walking to get lunch. A group of about six Japanese men were standing on the sidewalk with a sign reading, “Free hugs, Japan in Cambodia”. We all exchanged some hugs and took pictures, then went our separate ways, but what a friendly thing to do that made us all a little happier that day!

I got a package from the mother of a childhood friend, Aunt Darlene! Unfortunately, her son and I haven’t crossed paths for far too long as our lives have unfolded, but I am very appreciative of their support. Snacks for me to pig out on, and gifts and supplies for the kids at my site. Thanks from the bottom of our hearts for the love, support, and box of happiness, it goes a long way!

As movie night continues well into it’s second year, we have watched a lot of movies already. As I continue to search for new movies to show them, we have moved through different categories. Currently, I have been acquiring horror movies and enjoy watching the reactions of the children more than the movies themselves. They usually like ghost movies, so they like to watch them despite being scared. I put on “Nightmare on Elm Street” one night, and the teenagers were putting hats over their faces, pulling their shirts up over their eyes, covering their face with their hands, and hiding behind each other. Now that’s cultural exchange!

K’nick and my host sister playing make-up during movie night.

My aunt came over in the evening with a special treat to share with everyone. Sour unripe mangoes with a dipping sauce comprised of viscus sugar, chopped chili peppers, salt and fermented fish paste. They couldn’t get enough of it, the bowl was practically empty before it hit the table, and the bowl was literally licked clean!

For over a year now the children have been saving money with me, then we go travel and do something fun. My 18 year old sister also asked if she could save money with me because if she has easy access to the money then she will spend it! She usually saves $2.50 per day and has been as high as $150!!! She generally uses this money to make payments on the family moto, or to help repair the rice mill machine if it breaks. But every now and again she pulls out a little bit to treat herself!

Sopeeahlie!

Speaking of traveling with the children, one of my female students, Jet, mentioned that she was excited to go into Siem Reap with me and the other kids again in the future. She is maybe 14 years old and said that she has only been to Siem Reap (20 km away) once in her life, when she went with the other children and myself the month prior. It’s one of the little moments, the intangible events, that means so much to the both of us and I’ll forever treasure.

The only female of the four cousins whose father recently passed away likes to follow me around. Every time I go up to my room, she follows me up and waits for me. When we come down, she stands at the top of the landing, about six stairs up. She waits for me to get to the bottom and ready myself, then she leans forward and belly flops down the stairs and I catch her by the armpits and swing her into the air!

G’bow and Ghan

An NGO that does work in my community invited me to a meeting at the Village Chief’s house. They had set up a flat screen TV and some speakers on the stairs and hooked everything up to car batteries. Then they put on a movie about domestic violence for the villagers to watch. The Khmer video was really well made and I think it was a great thing to share with everyone. Two little girls from my village, maybe five and six years old, sat with me on the tarp laid out on the ground. Through the movie they moved closer and closer until one was in my lap and the other leaning on my side. For about 20 minutes they just played with my arm and leg hair, I’ve come to enjoy this type of massage!

During a village health volunteer meeting one of the female VHVs said to another female VHV, “You’re fatter than before, look how tight your shirt is!” They both just laughed and conversation continued. I like how straightforward some people are here, they aren’t judging or criticizing, just verbalizing an observation, and the recipient usually understands it as such and doesn’t get defensive or angry!

I went to the bank to get money from the ATM to pay my host family. I waited in line as usual because many locals don’t yet know how to use the ATM. When it came to the man in front of me, he asked me to help him withdraw money, success. Then I took out my money. The woman behind me asked me to stay and help her withdraw money also, success. Then the woman behind her asked, and so did the third…I ended up sticking around for about five minutes helping folks use the ATM until an employee of the bank came out to relieve me.

Guhy coloring

An intelligent and beautiful young woman named Na works in my commune for an organization which allows people to save money and also gives our small loans. She usually came to our house everyday of the work week for mom’s delicious cooking. I often sat with her and ate lunch, she practiced her English and I practiced my Khmer. She was also a great source of knowledge for any cultural questions or other things about Cambodia I wondered about. She became close with the family and often helped take care of baby Sopeeahlie when my sister was busy around the house. After several months, she mentioned that she would be stopping working here because she had to go to Phnom Penh for a medical procedure. I wish her the very best and much thanks for all the help and friendship!

Na and I after lunch

One of the midwives at the health center invited me to her daughter’s wedding. The invitation said the wedding was at 4:00pm, but remember that people also show up “fashionably late” to weddings here. I showered and got dressed before leaving my house on bicycle around 4:15, I had about a 30 minute pedal to the restaurant where this wedding reception was taking place. Mom mentioned that some villagers were waiting for me down the road, so I met them behind their house and hung out for a bit. They were all riding moto’s to the wedding, so I left first at 5:00pm and arrived around 5:30pm. Even now, 1.5 hours after the listed start of the wedding, only two tables had been seated and very few people had arrived. I waited in the parking area with two men I recognized from my commune. A group of men arrived from my village and we all entered in together and were seated together. The food was delicious and the reception was beautiful, we departed around 8:00pm at night, and a few people were still arriving for the “4:00pm” wedding! Being as it was dark out, all of the men from my village (six men on three motos, and one of the men was a police officer) escorted me home. I biked and they rode their motos along side and behind me to supply light and ensure I made it home safe and sound. I thanked them very much, I felt like a part of the community and was very appreciative of the love and care they continue to show me.

After preparing all the land for the school garden and mixing in our homemade compost, the principle arranged a day for all the kids to come and plant their seeds. It was up to the individual groups what vegetable they wanted to plant. We have lots of eggplant, chili peppers, bitter melon, cucumbers, and string beans! They germinated quickly and the kids have been taking excellent care of their babies!

The cousins showed me yet another cool trick with a drinking straw. They simply take a small “V” shaped twig, and insert one arm of the “V” into the straw and tie it with a rubber band so you have a small wooden arm at the end of the straw. Then make a small launcher using another stick and tie a looped rubber band on the end. Then put the free arm of the “v” into the rubber band loop, pull it back, and let go! Sounds simple, but they shoot the straws probably about 100 feet into the air!

Ga’bow

During one of my English classes, we had a small turn out, only about 15 students. On the fly I created a vocabulary challenge. Every single student had to say one word from 5 different categories (transportation, occupations, etc.) and I would not allow them to repeat words. Since some of the kids were younger, I let all the students work together and prepare what words they would all say ahead of time. With some minor bending of the rules, they crushed it! After class, I took them to a small shop and treated everyone to sugar cane juice as a reward…15 students and myself…all for $1.88!

My 15 year old cousin insists that the Obamas raise ostriches. I mentioned that I’ve never heard of such things. He suggested that he probably hires a care taker for them while he is the president.

Mom says no girls

Fellow PCV, Emily, was in my town to visit the bank and paid me a visit at site! It was fun to hang out with her and talk some English! As we walked around my house we got to watch my dog give birth to four brand new puppies! Emily even joined in for my advanced English class and the students got the pleasure of speaking with another native speaker. After class, the students who work at the silk weaving factory invited us next door to check out their work. Everyone was weaving away and the fabrics were beautiful as always. We even got to see a neat contraption featuring bicycle components to quickly transfer thread from large spools onto the small spools which they use in the looms! Thanks for visiting Emily!!!

Emily and I watching my dog give birth

Transferring silk thread from big spools to small spools.

I got invited to another wedding in the village. The listed time was 4:00pm. I was ready by 5:30, but mom and sister told me to wait another hour. I headed out alone at 6:30 and two other villagers joined me along the road and we walked over together. The food was decent, danced a lot and enjoyed the time with everyone. When things began to die down a little bit, I walked home alone under the stars. I didn’t make it far down the road until one of my 12 year old students, Laat, came up next to me on his bicycle and gave me a ride to my house sitting on the luggage rack on the back of his bike. I love the relationship I have with my students, they are my children. Thanks to all the teachers I’ve ever been luck enough to have that treated me as such!

Setting up the fruit ceremony

walking the fruit to the wedding, the grooms procession

The bride in the front and the bridesmaids in the back.